i have not blogged for over a year. didnt wan to change the link. far too lazy for that. i wanted to give up blogging. but i wanted to spit something out of my chest. facebook seem to be the platform but it didnt seem right when i was typing it. guess this is still the best place then. which explains my return.

i was speaking to someone. and that certain one made me realise that being able to answer to yourself highly surpass than being answerable to other. in various points in life, i have to remind myself to be responsible and to be answerable to that certain someone in each of the scenario.thru this chat, it has actually dawned on me that why do i even bother whether i am answerable to anyone? i should be answerable to myself. its me who have control over my own life.

taking in the positive point and waive off the negative. this is where discretion takes place. i should only be answerable to those who are of value and weight to me. waive off those which adds pressure and impedes in the performance of the outcome.

life is sooo hard nowadays where being tired and bothered basically sums it all up. school was a bitch. work no better. being consistent is a slut! tired tired tired.

this post is actually a very personal one. have yet to confide this to anyone yet. and i have no intention in doing so. for someone who reads to this point of the post and after sooo long after i re-blogged again, it might jus mean that u are someone who care and bother about me. or rather u jus chanced upon.

life and maturing has really taken its toes. points where people feel that oneself could nv understand or know the change in him/her. but i have actually realized that i have started to bottle things up. not opening up and confiding to people anymore. one may wan you to open up to them in the name of being close to you. but on the other hand, the person might just be judgmental towards u.

i have never held my guards up so high before. what m i turning into! i feel mutated.